It’s been over a week since I have last posted. Since then, I think I have been in a downward spiral. All the stress and worry and anxiety of life has caught up to me in a major way again. I’m managing the best I can. I spent the week not going anywhere (saving money in gas and entertainment though) watching House and knitting. I did finish a couple of Christmas presents in the last week and started a couple more. That’s pretty much all I am pleased with currently. Oh and I went to the grocery store yesterday morning.
I know part of this downturn is PMS which is pretty bad but I am anxious about a family (minus my mom) trip that we are taking this coming up weekend. I don’t know why I cannot handle overnight trips. I get extremely anxious and can’t handle things. All I can focus on is when I can get home. We will see. Hopefully I can conquer this but I don’t know. It will be with my family who I absolutely adore and have so much fun with. They help me even out and hopefully I can get turned back around on life again this week. Plus I will have an obscene amount of knitting with me to do, when I can’t go on the super crazy rollercoasters. Another thing is I finally received a response back about an issue that has been weighing on me all year. I have to deal with that this week too. It is not good for me to hide in my messy apartment and watch tv on dvd. I need to meet things head on and move forward.
Today will be busy at work since it is month end time and I have a slew of podcasts to listen to. On days like this, I feel less alone when I listen to podcasts because it’s like someone is talking to me constantly and keeping my thoughts away from anxiety. Also today is the start of the local NPR fundraising drive so I get no local for a couple of weeks. I’m glad I still have the Sirius radio.
I am going to set very simple and easy goals and hopefully when I go to bed tonight I can feel good about something.
-Listen to all the podcasts
-Stay focused on tasks today at work and get as much done as possible
-Go to see my parents and watch Top Chef and hang out and chat. Maybe talk about the house plans
-Take out some of the trash that is built up from packing and stuff.
I think those can be accomplished. I thought I was over these meltdowns but apparently not. I feel disappointed in myself. Hopefully next Monday will be a ton better.








